My Journey to Mommy-hood Chapter 2
So here we are… pregnant!
After coming down from the celebration and excitement of finding out, it was time to figure out what was next.
Should we go to the Doctor? When do we tell our families? Does my diet need to change?
A few of the millions of questions we had at the time.
I had decided that step one was to go to the Dr and everything else could be dealt with after. I made an appointment for that Friday, my Dr knew we were trying and had originally told me to come in as soon as we became pregnant.
The experience was not what I had hoped, to say the least. My appointment was at 2pm in the afternoon, I had gone to the bathroom quite a few times prior to it and when it was time to pee on the stick, the line was faint. To me, this was pretty logical considering the circumstances.
My Dr comes in the room, doesn’t smile or congratulate me, tells me the line was faint, I am there too early, there is a high chance of the big “M” at this point, doesn’t feel the need to give me any resources because “who knows” and sends me home in pure anxiety.
Just to reiterate, when I had taken the test, it was a very strong line, first thing in the morning. Our Dr knew we were trying and wanted this. And, she is the one who told me to come in right away.
I went home in pure tears, researching the internet (bad idea), reading stats and just feeling heart broken.
We had made plans to tell our families right away, those plans went straight out the window after said appointment.
But, I behaved liked a good little patient, did as she asked, waiting two more weeks, took two more tests at home (very positive) and went in again. This time, strong positive line! The Dr had changed here tune at this appointment, however, for me, it was too late. I felt like a number and like my baby meant nothing to her, this solidified my want for a midwife even deeper!
As the weeks went on, we finally told our families, both thrilled, surprised and beyond ready to meet their little grandchild to be. It was beginning to feel more real. I was finally able to discuss how I was feeling with someone other than my husband, and it was wonderful.
The beginning can feel very lonely. You’re experiencing so many new things, body and mind, and yet you have to stay quiet about them, tough! It was nice to talk to my mom and mother-in-law, to learn about their experiences and to finally tell my closest friends, after all, this was great news and I wanted to share it!
We had our first ultrasound at 8 weeks and that was a milestone to remember. I was holding my breath the entire time, I just wanted our little babes to be healthy and striving. I was waiting to hear that heart beat and when the room remained silent, my own heart had just about stopped. I guess I had watched too many movies and wasn’t fully aware that you don’t hear that heart beat this early and that you don’t hear it at the ultra sound. When the technician pointed to a little white dot that was fluttering and said “and that’s your babies strong heart beat” I let out a sigh of relief loud enough for the entire clinic to hear. I gently advised her to lead with that next time…
At about 10 weeks (this is already too late if you want to apply) I had applied for a midwife. I had been waiting until I told my mother in law, who was a labor and delivery nurse for many years, and had planned on connecting me to the “right” midwife. Thank the lucky stars we had this connection and were able to get in, otherwise, we may have not been so lucky!
Since before I became pregnant, I knew I wanted a midwife.
I had a deep love for everything they stood for. Choice, education, freedom, natural birth, this is what I wanted.
I wanted to be educated, not scared. I wanted to be asked, not told. I wanted my baby to be a baby, not a patient. The thing was, I had two autoimmune diseases that may have put me on the “high risk” profile, meaning, I would have to have a Dr.
Well, this babes of mine decided to do my body good and most of my symptoms went into remission once I became pregnant. My thyroid remained stable and I went off of my arthritis medication with no pain or swelling. I think babes wanted a midwife as much as her mommy 😛
Our first meeting was so strange, so different than anything I was used to. I walked into a little house looking clinic, was greeted by a kind front desk girl as a toddler played with their toy and book selection while her mommy was in with the midwife. Then it was my turn. I followed my new midwife, dressed in normal clothes, to a room. A real room. With a bed. A real bed. I sat on the bed and we talked. She explained how things worked, asked me why I had chosen this path and then allowed me to lead the conversation from there. She checked over my food journal, advised me to eat even more protein and gave me a book list to start chipping away at.
I was almost reluctant after our first meeting because it seemed so easy and too relaxed. Wasn’t I supposed to feel uncomfortable after the “Dr” … I had always hated going to the Dr.
This path was going to take some getting used to.
You could say I “felt pregnant” right from the start. Being a fitness competitor makes you very aware of your body and when something changes, you know! I had experienced slight nausea in the beginning (nothing unbearable), breast tenderness and significant growth, sensitivity to smell, loss of appetite and EXTREME tiredness. The tiredness is something I had never imagined. I mean, you ask any mom and they will tell you, they knew they were pregnant because of how tired they were… But this? This was crazy!
Luckily, I was able to continue my usual routine (with modifications) for the most part of the first trimester. My workouts and diet remained, however, they were significantly less intense and food was a means for survival. I had taken out all supplements other than protein powder, cut my coffee intake to a cup a day and kept my usual vitamin routine (I was already taking pre-natals). Since my diet was already meat free, I didn’t really eat cheese, nor was I a big drinker, there was no significant change here, just an increased cognitive effort to get enough iron and b12 through additional food sources.
The most difficult thing I had experienced in the first trimester were daily migraines and a decrease in my immune system that led to the flu from hell. I had suffered with migraines pre-baby but was able to at least take an Advil, to take the edge off. Being medicine free with an increased intensity in frequency and pain, they had me in tears almost daily. I had found comfort in essential oils, massage, baths, cold and hot towels and sleep. Luckily, both the flu and migraines kicked it as I approached second trimester.
The best of the three;)
Thanks for reading and sharing in our journey!