Confidence Starts Here
Self love, what does it even mean?
How often do you hear it?
The word self love, it’s played on a loop, flashed in front of our eyes, plastered all over media for us to see daily. But, what does it even mean?
It took me a long time, I mean lets be real, by long time I mean until I reached my 30s, to discover that self love was not tied to my body. Shocker! Learning that I could love myself in a non wavering way as my body shape wavered was honestly profound.
I am pretty convinced that many of my rambles going forward will focus on my personal journey to self love, most likely seasoned with a dash of what I have learnt from teaching these lessons to other women, but for today, lets focus on what the world makes us believe is our ultimate measure of worth, the body.
As a fitness coach, a great portion of my work stems around the body. One thing I will say though is this, the greatest success comes from those who learn to slowly accept the body they have in the present moment, in order to love and nurture it back to health. Anyone can lose weight, go on a diet, crash their system and self worth into oblivion over and over again while slowly chipping away at any small shred of self confidence they began with… I do not believe this is something to celebrate.
While the world focuses on applauding weight loss, I would personally like to focus on celebrating the GAIN of acceptance, grace and compassion while taking care of the only vessel we have to thrive in.
A few key habits I have implemented in my own positive body image journey, that I would like to share with you…
1. Look at your body in the mirror daily, bonus, do it naked. To many, this seems daunting… but the thing is… connecting with what you see looking back at you is an important step in embracing your body as it is in the very moment. Be gentle and start slow.
2. Practice positive daily affirmations. Pick two to three things each morning and say them to yourself every day. Say them until you believe them and then add a few more.
3. Check yourself. When your mind starts to play tricks on you, work on learning to kick those ugly thoughts out. “I look awful today” pops into your head, acknowledge it for a moment, understand you may be having a hard day and follow with “I am an awesome human and I have so much to offer” Do this diligently and consistently until that little voice becomes kinder and kinder.
4. Focus on the things you are already proud of. “I am a great mom” , “ I am successful and very good at my job”, “ I am a kind friend who cares for others” . Confidence begins on the inside, focus on those things inside, that make you feel confident as a person.
5. Take care of your health. Many people think that a fitness journey that yields weight loss is the reason someone appears more confident, wrong. Taking care of your body, nurturing it with good food and movement and proper sleep and enough water and stress management and a focus on your mental health, those things will make you feel good- inside and out.
Confidence is not an overnight journey nor is it a one and done type of deal. It is one of those things we must continue to work on in order to feel. Just like fitness, daily work towards a healthy path, that is what we are after.
For years, I have worked on breaking the horrible relationship my mind had with my body. It was not an easy feat to kick those nasty thoughts and to actually believe it when I said, “you are enough as you are right now”. And even now, after so much work has been done and effort has been made, I have those days where it is simply low. My body image wavers, my head plays games, my heart fights for my grace. Being open, willing to do the hard work and understanding this is a long term game is the best approach, I believe, to working on your confidence and your body image.
Thank you to all who take the time to read these scattered thoughts I so enjoy putting to paper!
xox T